Xmas songs no. 18: NOFX – “Xmas Has Been X’ed”

Self EntitledI picked this one because I’m going to see NOFX tonight and tomorrow, in Anaheim and San Diego. This song is from last year’s Self Entitled (read my review) and it takes an atheist stance in attacking the holidays. The music video was shot during the 2012 Santacon in San Francisco.

It’s funny how some fables became historic
When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric
But people will believe anything if it’s written
Especially in stone or ancient scroll

December 25th has been blacklisted
Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed
It was the last thing anyone ever expected
Xmas has been X’ed

No colored lights, no shopping sprees
No more presents under dead trees
Saint Nick is dead, but we don’t grieve
We celebrate the last Christmas Eve

Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic
Protestants increasingly become agnostic
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams
Priests and nuns are molesting each other

Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist
Evangelicals, surprisingly, are nudist
But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew
‘Cause Easter’s canceled too

No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass
Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don’t ash
They canceled Lent and slowed down fast
Enjoy Christmas ’cause it’s your last

Don’t worry son, we don’t need Christ
We got eight nights
We got Mitzvah
They won’t cancel our Hanukkah


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